A woman sat in my office and told me her tragic story. She had had an abortion. Though it had happened years earlier, she was still plagued by feelings of regret and remorse. She lived with convicting guilt. She couldn’t get rid of the feeling that she had done something terribly wrong. Guilt dominated her thinking and robbed her of peace of mind.
She had tried many things. She’d tried to stop thinking about it, taken in foster children and even had adopted children. She supported pro-life efforts. Nothing worked. Guilt limited her ability to think clearly and function normally. It affected her relationship with her husband and troubled her when she came to church.
There was no way this woman could change what had happened. Certainly, there was no way now, to give birth to that child. Her choice was irreversible; the baby was dead.
This woman came to me searching for forgiveness. What a thrill it was for me to point her to the one who was able and willing to grant her total and complete forgiveness.
Today, she is free from guilt and able to talk about what happened. She still wishes it hadn’t happened, but she’s no longer living with debilitating guilt. She knows she’s forgiven; she doesn’t carry the weight of guilt any more.
Forgiveness is something we all look for and which we all need. Sadly, not everyone discovers forgiveness.
1. FORGIVENESS IS RARE
Forgiveness is a rare commodity. Whether you are talking about family relationships or international politics, forgiveness is very uncommon in our world.
A few years ago, there was an attempt to assassinate Pope John Paul II. The man who tried to kill the pope, Mehmet Ali Agca, was arrested, convicted and sent to prison. A while later, the world was shocked by what the pope did. Without being invited, Pope John Paul went to the prison where the 26-year-old terrorist was confined. The pope sat down and offered his pardon to the young man. In that prison cell, the pope forgave the young terrorist for trying to kill him.
The world was stunned by the pope’s act of forgiveness. The next week, Time magazine made the pope’s act of forgiveness it’s cover story. Two words on the cover asked, “Why forgive?”
Here’s what Time magazine said about forgiveness. “Christ preached forgiveness, the loving of one’s enemies. It is at the center of the New Testament. Stated nakedly, superficially, the proposition sounds perverse and even self-destructive, an invitation to disaster… Forgiveness is not an impulse that is much in favor … Forgiveness does not look much like a tool for survival in a bad world. But that is what it is.”
Time pointed out how rare forgiveness is. We live in an unforgiving world, a world of revenge and retaliation. You see it on the international scene in the recent headline “Israel Bleeding from Revenge.” You see it in business with the philosophy, “Don’t forgive; get even!” You see it in marriages when couples carry resentment and anger toward their partners, rather than practice forgiveness.
It’s understandable that forgiveness is a rare commodity, because granting and receiving forgiveness is so difficult.
2. FORGIVENESS IS DIFFICULT
To forgive is to recognize that something wrong was done to you, but you choose to act towards that person as if the wrong had never happened. Forgiveness means to wipe the slate clean, to erase a debt.
Suppose you lend someone $100. That person promises to pay back the money, but then doesn’t pay it back. To forgive means you write off that debt. It means you treat that person, as if you had never lent the money to him in the first place. It means you are never going to mention it again.
That kind of forgiveness is hard. It’s tough not to want to hold someone as an emotional hostage. It’s tough not to demand payment. It’s difficult to erase the memory of what happened, but that’s what forgiveness is. The person who grants forgiveness lets go of the past. He wipes the slate clean. The forgiver treats the past as if it had never happened. No wonder forgiveness is so rare.
3. FORGIVENESS IS NEEDED
Forgiveness may be tough, but we all need it. Forgiveness may be rare, but it’s something we’re all searching for.
Everyone needs to be forgiven. We’ve all done wrong. We’ve said things we shouldn’t have said, reacted in ways we shouldn’t have, broken promises or confidences or lied to our parents. We’ve failed in some way. No one can say, “I’ve lived a perfect life and have offended no one.” No one can say, “I don’t need forgiveness.” We all need to hear the words, “I forgive you.”
Obviously we need forgiveness from those we’ve wronged and hurt but more importantly, we need God’s forgiveness. While offending our friends is serious, offending God is much more serious. In some way or another, we’ve all offended God. We’ve broken his laws and done things that have hurt him. We’ve sinned against God. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23).
Sin is not a popular concept these days. Our world has come up with a whole new vocabulary for sin. In the vernacular of our times, we don’t commit sins, we act out inappropriate behavior patterns. Psychologists tell us we don’t carry a load of guilt; they say, “We’re just victims of poor conditioning.” They tell us “We don’t need forgiveness, we need our thinking reprogrammed.” I heard a politician belittle his immoral behavior with the words, “There was a human indiscretion.”
But regardless of what you call it, we sin. We sin against people and against God and as a result, we carry a load of guilt. We incur the consequences of our sinning and we need to be forgiven.
Offending God is serious. Offending God causes personal problems, here and now. This business of forgiveness isn’t a light thing. You can’t just take it or leave it. Until we experience forgiveness, we live with crippling guilt. Guilt robs us of peace and brings tension and can destroy our health. Until there’s forgiveness, we feel uncomfortable with certain people and relationships are strained. We pay a price until we find forgiveness.
Offending God has eternal consequences. Offending a friend can break a relationship and cause hard feelings but offending God is infinitely more serious. God is our Creator and our Judge. He holds our eternal destiny in his hands. Some day we’ll stand before him to give an account. At that time, God will say either “Heaven” or “Hell.”
4. FORGIVENESS IS AVAILABLE
We can’t forgive ourselves. I often hear people say, “I can’t forgive myself.” That has to be the stupidest statement a person could make. A person who tries to forgive himself is trying to do the impossible; you can’t forgive yourself. Only the person you wronged or hurt can forgive you. When the person you’ve wronged really forgives you, you’re free and you can go on living as if it never happened. Forgiveness is something someone else must do for you.
God is forgiving. Many have an inaccurate picture of God. They think God is an angry tyrant up in the heavens waiting to pounce on us the moment we make a mistake. Some think God delights in judging and punishing people. Nothing could be farther from the truth. That’s not the kind of God you read about in the Bible. The God of the Bible is a forgiving God – a God of love, who, when he forgives, “keeps no record of wrong.”
You are kind and forgiving, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. (Psalm 86:5).
God’s forgiveness is costly. God’s forgiveness isn’t cheap. Just because God forgives, doesn’t mean God treats sin lightly or casually. In fact, just the opposite is true. God treats sin so seriously that he sent his Son, Jesus Christ to absorb all the sin of the world and to pay the penalty for that sin, so we could be forgiven.
God’s forgiveness removes the record of our past wrongs. When God forgives, he does a lot more than say, “I’m OK and You’re OK.” God throws away the record of our past wrongs; God wipes the slate clean.
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12).
Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more. (Hebrews 10:17).
When God forgives, he throws away the past record of your wrongs. Now the devil has a good memory and he wants you to remember past wrongs. He brings them up again and again, but God has wiped them from the record and it’s what God has done with your past sins that really matters. When the devil reminds you of your past, just tell him that God has forgiven you and thrown away the records of your past behavior. The devil has no right to bring up your past and bother you with what God has forgiven.
God’s forgiveness is all encompassing. When God forgives, he forgives everything. He forgives the little booboos and the major crimes. Nothing is too big or too little for God to forgive. He forgives the sins we committed yesterday and he forgives the sins we did 40 years ago. He forgives all our sins – not just some, but all!
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9).
God’s forgiveness is complete. There’s nothing we can add to what he’s already done.
In Europe, in the 13th century, there was a fanatical cult called the Flagellants. They were a strange cult of heretics who would walk, nearly naked, through the streets of Europe, beating themselves with whips, chains and rods until their bodies were lacerated and bleeding. They believed that unless they suffered for their sins, they would not be forgiven by God.
You don’t read anything like that in the Bible. God’s forgiveness is complete and we can add nothing to it.
Some people today are like the Flagellants. What the Flagellants did to themselves physically, some people do to themselves emotionally. The person who tries to forgive himself, the person who tries to add to what Christ has already done and who tries to earn God’s favor by doing good deeds, doesn’t understand the forgiveness that God offers to us. God’s forgiveness is a free gift and it deals with all our guilt completely.
God’s forgiveness gives us a new future. When God forgives, he wants you to forget your past and go on to live a new life. God intends you to live with a clear conscience. He makes it possible for you to live free from guilt. He enables you to go on as a new person.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17).
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