This is the fourth in the series, Destination Grace, outlining how to get from where we are, to an experience of grace and a place of gracious living.
Grace is misunderstood. Our world knows little of the practice of grace. Once in a while we see a little mercy, but rarely do we see grace. Mercy means we don’t treat a person the way he deserves; grace means we do wonderful things for a person who doesn’t deserve them.
We know more about vengeance and justice. A Chinese proverb describes the mindset of most people: “If your enemy offends you, buy each of his children a drum.” We want to appear gracious, but underneath we’re trying to get even.
Our world practices ungrace. We like revenge. Our motto seems to be, “I don’t forgive, I get even! I don’t show grace; I even the score!” Grace is difficult.
The Bible teaches that we are to live counter to the world’s culture of revenge; we are to live graciously. The word G.R.A.C.I.O.U.S. stands for God’s Redeemed Acting Christ-like In Our Ungracious Situations.
GRACIOUS LIVING
One dictionary describes gracious as an obsolete and archaic word meaning pleasing, acceptable and godly. Graciousness implies courtesy and kindness. But graciousness is not out-of-date.
How do we live graciously in our ungracious world?
1. YOUR EXAMPLE
Jesus.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth … (John 1:14).
Jesus was full of grace and truth. It was an intrinsic part of his character. His lifestyle was marked graciousness. The way he dealt with people, the way he handled criticism, the way he dealt with opposition – all reflected his gracious personality. Grace was a mark of strength, not weakness. It took grace to restrain himself and not use his power to retaliate.
Jesus was gracious all the time. He gave generously, not begrudgingly. He endured cynics and skeptics without anger. He experienced suffering without complaining. When he was abused, he forgave; when he was attacked, he loved.
From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. (John 1:16). We have been blessed out of the fullness of his grace. We don’t deserve a single one of the blessings he showers on us, but because he is full of grace, those blessings flow to us day after day.
Stephen
Stephen was a deacon in the early church in Jerusalem who boldly declared his faith. He was hated by the Jews and was eventually stoned to death, becoming the church’s first martyr. His death, and the way he handled his accusers, is very similar to the way Jesus handled his accusers.
Stephen’s face shone with grace as he was stoned. Stephen endured great pain, but showed not a trace of bitterness or anger. As Jesus had prayed on the cross, Stephen prayed, Father forgive them.
2. YOUR RESPONSE
Christians are followers of Jesus. If we are sincere about living our faith, we constantly ask, “What would Jesus do?” For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son. (Romans 8:29).
God’s purpose for us is to be conformed into the likeness of Christ, to act like Jesus acted, to relate to people as Jesus did and to respond to situations like Jesus did.
We are to be conformed into the likeness of Jesus. He was gracious and we are to be gracious. As he extended grace, we are to extend grace to others.
God’s grace is transforming grace. Experiencing God’s grace changes us on the inside. Living graciously is not simply the result of our own efforts. Gracious living is the result of Christ’s presence flowing through us.
I’ve seen a lot of ungrace and to my shame, I’ve shown some ungrace. I’ve heard ungrace on the telephone, I’ve seen it in the lobby of a church and I’ve watched it over coffee in a restaurant. But our lives are to be marked by grace – grace demonstrated in how we relate and respond to other people, in the way we react to criticism and in the way we handle pressure and adversity.
And it’s possible. It’s possible, when God’s presence and power are at work in us.
Ungrace among God’s people displeases the Lord, destroys the church family and repels those outside the church who may be seeking God.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:12-13).
These are characteristics of a gracious person: compassion, kindness, humility, patience, putting up with each other and forgiving. We are to clothe ourselves with these graces.
It’s an ugly sight when a person puts on the garment of praise, but forgets the garments of grace. God is repulsed as his name is dragged through he mud.
FIVE WAYS TO SHOW GRACIOUSNESS
i. Gracious in spirit.
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15).
Bitterness and resentment demonstrate ungrace. Hebrews says when bitterness gets into our spirits, it’s a root that grows to cause trouble.
Some people need to learn to be gracious rather than bitter – to show grace to a former spouse, a teacher, a boss and to show grace to a deacon or a pastor.
ii. Gracious in speech.
An old hymn makes this prayer:
Gracious Spirit, dwell with me!
I myself would gracious be;
And with words that help and heal,
Would Thy life in mine reveal;
And with actions bold and meek,
Would for Christ my Savior speak.
Your lips have been anointed with grace. (Psalm 45:2).
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:6).
Some people are gracious in their speech, while others are curt and cutting. I know people who talk a lot about the anointing of the Spirit but the anointing hasn’t hit their lips yet! Our lips are to be anointed with grace and our conversation is to be full of grace.
When our lips are anointed with grace, we eliminate slander, gossip and criticism, we cut out sarcasm and biting remarks, we guard our words and watch our tone of voice. We use our lips to bless, not to curse, we use our lips to lift up, not to tear down and we use our lips to encourage, not discourage.
Gracious people don’t send critical e-mails or make derisive comments behind someone’s back.
Our speech is the testing ground of our faith. Grace is not intended just to get us to heaven, it’s to make us gracious here and now. This is where grace is demonstrated.
iii. Gracious in forgiveness.
The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love… (Exodus 34:6).
Gracious people forgive. People who have been graced by God, receive what they don’t deserve – forgiveness. They’ve been forgiven when they deserved justice, they’ve been justified, when they are guilty and they’ve been set free from condemnation, when they should have been held in bondage.
Christ has been gracious and forgiven us, now we need to demonstrate grace and forgive one another. Do you remember the Lord’s prayer? Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Matthew 6:12). We know we are to forgive others because God has forgiven us. We know God will not forgive us, unless we forgive others. Look again at what we ask the Lord to do in the Lord’s Prayer. Do you really want God to forgive you the way you have forgiven others?
It’s hard to forgive. You feel you can’t forget what a person did to you. Remember what Jesus did for you. You offended him by your behavior, you insulted him by your conduct and you marred his name by what you did, but from the fullness of his grace, he forgave you. He now lives within us and asks us to demonstrate his gracious character to others.
A big part of the word forgive is give. A gracious person is a giving person. Forgiveness isn’t easy and grace isn’t easy either. It requires giving.
iv. Gracious in serving.
Gracious hearts are demonstrated with diligent hands.
The word for “grace” and the word for “spiritual gift” or “gift of the Spirit” is the same in the Bible. The Greek word for grace or gift is charis. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. (Romans 12:6). The word for gift and the word for grace is the same!
A spiritual gift is a grace that God gives you, enabling you to serve the church and the kingdom of God. Every believer has at least one spiritual gift and every believer should use his spiritual gift.
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. (1 Peter 4:10).
We are to administer God’s grace. Gracious people are not spectators; they are active participants. Gracious people serve, using their spiritual graces or gifts, to strengthen the church, the body of Christ.
v. Gracious in giving.
The most common criticism of the church in America, from those outside the church, is that the church is always asking for money. We certainly understand why outsiders feel that way.
Our giving is an expression of the grace we have received. We have freely received from God and want to give back to him freely. He has shown us grace and we are gracious in return. But just as you excel in everything–in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us–see that you also excel in this grace of giving.(2 Corinthians 8:7).
Grace is all about giving. The Bible says that grace, should extend to the stewardship of our finances. What’s your reaction when the offering plates are passed? Is it “Here we go again, they are after my money. Why do I have to give to the church?”
God wants our giving to be done graciously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7).
3. YOUR PRIVILEGES
You can experience God’s grace in difficult circumstances.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9).
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8).
You can experience God’s grace when you pray.
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16).
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